Ellen Carol Cotter

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• _UID: 41005F404A4347B3B4AF17EC2A98ABA5DFE6

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«b»COTTER, ELLEN CAROL

«/b»88, died September 11, 2017, in Riverside, Rhode Island. She was the daughter of the late Richard F. Cotter and Helen (Lennon) Cotter, the step-daughter of the late Pauline (Quillen) Cotter, and the sister of the late Richard F. Cotter, Jr.

She was born in Providence and was educated at The College of St. Elizabeth, Boston College, and Catholic University of America, where she received a Master's in Social Work. She worked as a social worker in St. Louis and in New York City. Carol was a guidance counselor for 19 years at Dighton-Rehoboth Regional High School in North Dighton, Massachusetts.

Carol was a devout Catholic with a deep and personal relationship with God. She was a member of the Third Order of St. Dominic, and a parishioner of Holy Name Church in Providence.

Carol is survived by her sister-in-law, Margaret Shelia Cotter of Wakefield, and her nieces and nephews: Kathleen Cotter
of Franklin Square, New York, Denise O'Neil of Wakefield, Michael Cotter of Englewood, Florida, and Paul Cotter of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. She is also survived by her great-nephew, Daniel Cotter of Kingston, and her great-niece, Emily Cotter of Narragansett.

Relatives and friends are invited to attend a Memorial Mass on Saturday, September 23, at 10 a.m. in the Lady Chapel of the Church of the Holy Name of Jesus, 99 Camp Street, Providence. Burial will be private.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Richard F. Cotter Memorial Fund, c/o Scholarship Foundation, Inc., PO Box 15-4438, Riverside, RI 02915.

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• _UID: C110B377AC0846C19DE3C7ACB8889A1396A4

Richard married Ellen Lennon in Dec 1926. Ellen was born about 1905; died on 10 Apr 1934. [Group Sheet] [Family Chart]

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• _UID: C33CFD5F902E43CBBAF164723CEC9299FB42

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• _UID: 3C589BE8AABF47688F9C7A3D0050048FF415

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Birth:
William's Birth Cert Says Edward Was Born In New York, New York Rather Than Ireland.

Occupation:
Hostler

Edward married Anna O'Neil on 30 Nov 1886 in , , Rhode Island, USA. Anna (daughter of Henry O'Neil and Bridget McCarthy) was born about 1859 in Skibbereen Section, Cork, County Cork, Ireland; died on 15 Aug 1942 in Wakefield, Washington County, Rhode Island, USA; was buried in Pawtucket, Providence County, Rhode Island, USA, St. Francis Cemetery. [Group Sheet] [Family Chart]

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• _UID: E07A0C3D5F46447BB6577DCB34DAA17B8669

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Story told by Ellen Carol Cotter about her grandmother, Annie O'Neil Cotter, to Denise Cotter O'Neil.

I would like you to know that I am using the anecdotal method and that much; of the material that I am using is hearsay from my father or uncle Eddie or other family sources.

I would like to tell you about the time when my father was a very young and unmarried and working for Armour and Company in Lynn, Massachusetts. He came home with his manager who was also from out of town and had no place to go to spend the fourth of July at 126 East Manning Street with his mother, my grandmother, Annie O'Neill Cotter. Dad was quite thirsty and he said to his mother, "Ma I'd give $20 for a good stiff drink" and his mother said, "Yes? Let's see your money and dad pulled out a $20. She quickly tucked it in her bosom and went downstairs to the kitchen and then into the pantry. She soon came back upstairs with three drinks, one for dad, one for the manager and one for herself, which they proceeded to enjoy. Then dad said, "Ma, I'd give another $20 for another drink." "Let's see you money, she said." and she quickly pocketed the next $20 in her bosom. Then she went downstairs through the kitchen to the pantry. This time my father quietly followed. He wanted to see where was her supply source. Just as he came into the pantry, he saw a cloud of flour dust that even got on Gramma's hair as she dug down into the hundred pound bag of flour and came up with a bottle of Uncle Eddie's best scotch. Dad quickly went back upstairs and didn't get caught. Gramma produced the next drink and they had a wonderful afternoon.

This is a story of Gramma Cotter when she was a young woman living in Perryville, RI, which is right next to Matunuck. She lived in the big house that the Perry's owned. This was a special privilege as the rest of the help lived in the servants' quarters on the side of the hill. But Mrs. Perry was teaching Gramma to be the family cook and so she lived with the family in the household. Gramma was a truly marvelous cook and she did everything in the best Protestant tradition of Mrs. Perry. Mr. Perry was a wealthy man - they named the town for him and he owned a factory in either Wakefield or Peacedale, I'm not sure which. Edward Cotter, my grandfather, Ned, lived in the servants' quarters on the side of the hill but he had a good eye and he had both eyes on Annie O'Neill. Eventually, Grampa Cotter was the head stable man for Mr. Perry and he used to drive him every morning in his horse and wagon to town to the factory to go to work. Grampa also took care of the horses. When it was time for Gramma and Grampa to get married, they married Gramma, or so the story goes, out of the big house and then they moved to a little place off South road. They entertained all of the Irish kitchen mechanics at their house on their night off. I think the night off was Saturday night and they would do Irish dancing all night and have a wonderful time. One of the Irish mechanics was Annie Stedman but Annie Stedman was Annie then, not Stedman and she came to Gramma and she was very troubled and she said, "Annie, what will I do? Charlie Stedman wants to marry me and he is Protestant . So Gramma said, "Will he raise the children in the faith?" and Annie Steadman said "yes". My grandmother said, "What is your problem? There aren't that many Catholic men around. Marry him and be happy." Annie Steadman married Charlie and they had a large farm on South Road and Dickie and I, your father, used to go and pick blueberries there and then Annie Stedman would cook up a storm and have a big meal because her Annie came to see her. They had a wonderful friendship all their lives. Gramma Cotter never forgot a friend and was loyal to them her whole life.

This is a contrast of when two grandmothers, Ellen Mahoney Lennon and Annie O'Neill Cotter. After my mother died when I was four-and-a -half, and Dick was six and la half, my father made it a practice for us to visit Gramma and Grampa Lennon every Sunday after mass when we were still dressed up and looked pretty good. We would go to Pawtucket to Arlington Street which is lovely street right near St. Raphael's Academy. When we would pull up in the car, at the house of my grandparents, I was always impressed because it was a big beautiful gray stucco house with a lovely porch, a side porch, not a porch on the front entrance. When we would get into the house, my grandfather, who was a short, stocky man and very, very warm, would greet us with a great deal of affection. Then Dickie and I would head for the stairway, which was long, to the second floor. Halfway up on the landing, there was a statue of Venus de Milo and my brother just loved that statue and I would say to him, "Dickie Cotter! Don't you look at that dirty statue!" and he would laugh and laugh. Then I would proceed to my grandmother Lennon's bedroom and my brother would visit the rooms of our uncles and aunt Harriet. My grandmother was a tall, very erect woman who had a great deal of dignity. She would kiss me perfunctorily and then proceed to put her earrings on as she looked in the full-length mahogany mirror that I now have in my bedroom. She would say, "Ellen Carol, a lady always checks herself in the mirror before going down to greet other people". Then we would go back down the stairs with Dickie taking full measure of Venus de Milo's proportions and proceed to the first floor where Gramma would ask us if we would like to have soda and cookies. We always said yes and when we did we proceeded into the dining room and sat down in the formal dining room with the linen tablecloth on the table and my grandmother would ring for the maid whose name was Loretta. She would come in in full uniform and ask Gramma what she wanted. Then Loretta would come back with the Coca-Cola in tall glasses with ice cubes, a nappy dish underneath with two cookies each on either side of the soda and we would proceed to devour it. Nobody ever asked us if we wanted more soda or more cookies so that was it (laughs). When we would go to Gramma Cotter's she would always greet us with a great deal of love and she would be standing there covered with her flour bag apron, the hundred pound flour bag apron that she had put tabs on to tie and she would ask us if we wanted some "cookie-cola" and cookies. When we said yes, she would go into the pantry and get two cheese glasses and pour us a cheese glass of "cookie cola" each. She told us that there was dope in it so we could only have one glass but we could have all of the cookies that we wanted. So that gives you kids an idea of the differences between he lifestyle of Gramma cotter where we sat on the plastic covered tablecloth in the kitchen and had our soda in a cheese glass compared to the strained relationships and the formality of the Lennon household.

When I was about ten, uncle Eddie bought a lovely house at Sunnybrook farm next door to Howard McGrath who was then governor of the state of Rhode island. But Eddie had one problem - he could not persuade his mother Annie to stay at the house at the beach. So he kept on trying. Finally Gramma said that she would come and stay at the Sunnybrook farm house if Dickie and Carol could come and stay also during the summer months while we were on school vacation. And thus it was arranged that Dick, Dickie and Carol got to stay in this lovely house on salt pond where we had wonderful good times as a family and where Joe Young and Edward Young would visit also. But come to the time of August 14th and there was a regular ritual that Gramma Cotter put uncle Eddie through. She was preparing for the feast of August 15th, the Assumption of Our Lady over the waters into heaven, body and soul on that date. Gramma insisted that uncle Eddie go and get two buckets of salt water from the ocean, not from the polluted waters of salt pond. Uncle Eddie would dutifully go to Scarborough state beach and get two buckets full of salt water for Gramma Cotter. On the eve of the feast, August 14th, Gramma would take off her high-button black shoes and stockings and bless herself and put one foot in each bucket of salt water. She would then say some prayers to herself, take her feet out of the water, dry them and put back on her stockings and high-button shoes. And then she would look up to the heavens and say there was a blessing over the waters when Mary passed into heaven. Dickie and I thought it was a most peculiar custom because we had never read about this in any of our Catholic teaching at Holy Name School but we went along with that as being part of Gramma's customs from Ireland. Gramma was very devout land you respected her ways. It is interesting to note that Gramma died on August 14th. The Feast of the Immaculate Conception was the morning when we found her. Correction: on August 14th, 1941, was the Feast of the Assumption of Our Lady into Heaven and it was on the eve of that feast that Gramma died during the night.

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• Occupation: Paver, City Street Department
• _UID: 2790D575A5CD4AB38F0CB9E5D711D690F797
• Immigration: 1 Apr 1864, New York City, New York County, New York, USA
• Naturalization: Oct 1879, Providence, Providence County, Rhode Island, USA

William + Margaret (Cotter). Margaret died in Bef 1910. [Group Sheet] [Family Chart]

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• _UID: 92187FC7319E4E0180C44BE8C8D08A19C023

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• _UID: 095223C7625444FD8C7F284B4AA220BF8571

Henry + Bridget McCarthy. Bridget was born in 1840 in Skibbereen Section, Cork, County Cork, Ireland; died on 23 Dec 1876 in Skibbereen Section, Cork, County Cork, Ireland. [Group Sheet] [Family Chart]

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• _UID: 4AD23C7DB89D4454BCC34536FE6B3278CF80